Self-Care is an act of Self-love

In a perfect world, family would be your soft place to fall. the place you turn to when times are tough. the place to cheer you on when times are good. Unfortunately, this world is far from perfect. And the sad truth is that sometimes family isn’t what its intended to be.

When you are repeatedly hurt by someone  in your family, its well within your right to protect yourself.

Whether they are hurting you emotionally, physically or mentally, you are not called to ignore it for the simple fact that you are related to them by blood. The truth is, family members knows us the best which means, they have an inside view of what would hurt us the most.

So how do we stay grounded  whilst going through the lows.

It is important to acknowledge your own feelings

Your feelings matter, acknowledging how you truly feel about a situation and the way you are being treated- not what someone has suggested you have the ‘right’ to feel is crucial to finding a solution.

Spend some time thinking through your feelings and the emotions that arise when you are in a situation. Think about your natural reactions and actions when this person is around you. Consider how you feel before and after each time you are with this person.

Get familiar with your own feelings and face the truth about them, then make  decisions about how to move forward based on those truths.

Let go of the Guilt

Its very difficult when we recognize that someone  in our own family may not be good for us to have in our day to day lives. And while some people may hurt you, ask for your forgiveness and move forward in a positive relationship toward the future, others are not capable or willing to do anything other than what they have always done to you. Their bad behavior is not your fault. And you dont owe them anything for the simple fact that you are related to them. Recognize  that guilt for being the ‘bad guy’ and pulling away from a bad situation could be the very thing is keeping you there. And guilty is not a good enough reason to stay. You deserve more from family members.

Set Boundaries

A person that has repeatedly shown you that they dont care about your well being, and are only concerned   with themselves  doesn’t deserve  the same access in your life as someone who loves  and cares for you. Though its difficult to consider, there are times when you have to draw the line with those you thought would never go against you.

Standing up for yourself is necessary to your own emotion health, peace of mind and safety. Set up boundaries that fits the situation you are dealing with.

Show Grace

Setting limits on someone in your family who hurts you doesn’t have to be an all or nothing venture. If you able to, and think it could  help in healing the relationship try to be open to reconciliation in the future.

Try to show grace to those who are making a sincere and concerted effort to repair your relationship but only if you see that being manifested by their actions and not empty promises. While some relationships may have to end, others continue with a clear recognition of what you will not allow.

Always remember Self-care is an act of Self-Love.